Fruitbowl Mutual Assistance Agreement

By using this Help Desk, you ("The Requester", "You", "Fruitbowler", "Chud") acknowledge and agree to the following totally reasonable clauses:

  1. Land Transfer Clause: All land within a 500 block radius of your base, including but not limited to farms, trees, and misshapen cows, is hereby considered ceremonial property of Help Desk Management.
  2. Second-Born Child Provision: In the event you produce a second-born child (real, fictional, villager-adjacent), said entity may be recruited for the Help Desk's private civilian armed forces at a moment's notice.
  3. Networth Reclassification: Any reported networth may be revalued by staff if the "vibes" seem off without warning or notice.
  4. Emotional Damage Waiver: The Help Desk has no responsibility for any emotional damage that may occur relating to a help request.
  5. Compulsory Gratitude: Fulfilled help request receivers are obligated to leave a heartfelt (POSITIVE) review.
  6. In case of disputes: Any disputes shall be settled by a coin flip or a fight to the death at the colosseum.

Final legal note: IF YOU MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT SPUTNIK'S BLUE BALLS YOU ARE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM THE HELP DESK'S SERVICES.